March 17, 2023

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog entry, but something really significant happened today that I couldn’t not write about. My mom and I went to meet a friend at the Empty Cross on the Hill in Kerrville, it’s a beautiful location that is filled by the Holy Spirit, and we just went there to pray and chat. It was late and getting really cold so I was ready to go pretty quickly, but my mom and our friend were having a conversation and I just felt like I shouldn’t interrupt, so I let them finish and we pulled out a decree book to read one of the passages together before leaving. As we were reading, a couple walked past to leave and blessed our night, and we blessed theirs and then continued to read the passage. As we were about two-thirds done with the passage, the couple, Amber and Robert Reddens, returned and Amber apologized for interrupting and said that she had to be obedient. She then explained that the Lord had instructed her to come back and speak to us, and so she did just that and stared directly at me. She opened with a verse, Jeremiah 29:11, then continued with how the Lord sees me and to know that His plans for me are wonderfully big. I knew the second they approached us that the message was mine, and that God had something He needed me to know, but I also was apprehensive and watched Amber’s eyes to see if they would be directed to someone else, like my mom or our friend. But no, she looked at me. I’ll be honest, a lot of what she said is a blur in my memories, because at the moment I was more so feeling the message rather than hearing it. I felt like a child again, receiving her father’s love and praise. I am not an easy crier, but believe me when I say that tears were flowing. I couldn’t keep myself in check, and I know that I wasn’t supposed to.

After Amber delivered the message, we all had a wonderful and long conversation about different things, much of it I can’t remember because I am still relishing in the word that was given to me. Hear me when I say that I had never truly expected God to single me out and provide me with a message containing His love and plan for the future. It was something I had always wanted, always yearned for, but never expected. This was the last thing I expected to hear today, but also the best thing I have ever been told. Listen to me, God did it for me, and He will do it for you. I have always known that I am seen by the Lord, but the word told me that I am known. I know He knows me, but this time He told me that He knows me, from the mouth of a stranger passing by. Just as He knows me, my struggles, my doubts, my wishes, my wants, and everything else, He knows you. It may sound scary and intimidating, but it is the greatest blessing one can receive. He is someone that you don’t have to hide anything from. There are no secrets in this relationship, which is often something that one can only dream of having. Understand that your heart is not hidden, it is not sheathed, it is not cold, dark, nor stagnant. Your heart is available, open, and raw. The decision you can make then is are you going to accept it? You can continue to pretend like it doesn’t matter, and that no one knows the “real” you, or you can throw away that destructive pride and face who you really are. The person God knows you as. And in that you can face the Lord. Don’t be scared of Him, because He is there for you with his arms open and ready to embrace you. This is a message both for you and for myself, because I once lived believing that I was the only one in the world who could comprehend what was happening in my heart, and I never want to return to that mindset.

I feel that this is all that God has set for me to write today, so I’m going to call it here. Thank you for reading this far, I know it isn’t always easy to acknowledge the imperfections that you want to hide from everyone, even Jesus. But those imperfections are completed in the presence of Jesus. I love you, because Jesus loves you. I hope you found something in this passage that spoke to you, but if not then maybe you will in the next one. I’ll talk to you later, thanks again!

Amber and Robert have a YouTube channel called Kingdom Kitchen, go and give them a visit!